Proposal.

Dear Henry Simmons,

Now, I have no current intentions to get married, but for you, I just might make an exception. If you are interested in taking advantage of this limited time offer, please get your fine African-American ass to San Ho and snatch me up as soon as possible. If I don't hear from you soon, I may have to turn to James Franco for support, and I cannot be held responsible for things I might do in my tumultuous grief over you. You unspeakably hot man, you.

Love,
Ellen