Disney Princesses are the root of all evil, and I invite each and every one of them to bite me. From now on, little girls' role models will only be strong, capable women who don't run around with their boobs hanging out while they wait for a man to define their lives (I'm looking at YOU, Ariel and Jasmine). Little girls will be allowed to wear blue and green and black and red, and not in pastel colors. Little girls will play with Thomas the Tank Engine right alongside their other "girl" toys. Little girls will be given more choices in who to emulate in life and not be boxed into a corner with half a dozen Disney Princesses who will teach them how wear more shades of pink than you ever thought possible and to "just sit there, look vapid and pretty, and wait for a man to rescue you." Why the hell can't little girls read books about Mulan, or Esmeralda, or even Nala (sure she was a lioness, but at least she stood up for herself), for heaven's sake? Because then kids might get the wrong idea about who little girls should grow up to be (God forbid they be self-sufficient women who don't need a man to give life meaning).

Hey, you'd be angry too if you had to stare at the walls full of Disney Princess merchandise all day, every day. The boys get so many more choices. If it weren't for Dora the Explorer (bless her little heart), girls would have nothing but Disney Princesses and Barbie to learn from.

Damn patriarchy. Damn it to hell.